ROW 80 - "Sneak Peek"
So now that I've made this blog I'm just itching to have people read what I've written, and I face a dilemma:
Do I post everything I've written all at once, or do I post it in small, manageable chunks? The later sounds more productive, and so I will make this my last post for the day, and possibly the week. Here are three small passages, in the order in which I wrote them, to start my ROW 80 project. I'm not counting this as the start of my 80 days. That will still be on July 3rd, the first Monday of the month. So enough exposition, here you go:
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Do I post everything I've written all at once, or do I post it in small, manageable chunks? The later sounds more productive, and so I will make this my last post for the day, and possibly the week. Here are three small passages, in the order in which I wrote them, to start my ROW 80 project. I'm not counting this as the start of my 80 days. That will still be on July 3rd, the first Monday of the month. So enough exposition, here you go:
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“Please,” She said, in an almost
whisper. “Stay.”
I grasped her hand gently, but said nothing.
“I can’t. I want to. It’s just…”
The words came out in painful bursts. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, slowly rolling down his cheeks.
And still I said nothing.
“I understand…” She said, after a moment. Her face showed disappointment.
Finally I broke my silence.
I did not, however, break my grasp.
I grasped her hand gently, but said nothing.
“I can’t. I want to. It’s just…”
The words came out in painful bursts. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, slowly rolling down his cheeks.
And still I said nothing.
“I understand…” She said, after a moment. Her face showed disappointment.
Finally I broke my silence.
I did not, however, break my grasp.
“I don’t.”
Those two words cut deeper than the thousands said before them. It showed on his face.
“You can’t just leave!”
More tears. They were mine.
“You don’t get to just leave and pretend this is over!”
But we all knew. He wasn’t pretending.
It was over before it even started.
“You’re naïve. Can’t you see you’ve lost?” His tone was not one of superiority, but of pity.
My body tensed, then. My hands clenched. The woman next to me let out a soft shriek, and I started.
I had forgotten her hand was still in mine.
I moved to let go, but she pulled me closer. The three of us were crying now, as leaves fell in the cool autumn breeze.
“The only naïve one is you. “This time, her voice. Choked by emotion.
Again, I held my tongue. I held it as he walked away, the breeze blowing harder still.
I held it that evening, as she cried by the firelight.
I would hold it for years, the words I had wanted to say forever repeated, never spoken.
Please. Stay.
Those two words cut deeper than the thousands said before them. It showed on his face.
“You can’t just leave!”
More tears. They were mine.
“You don’t get to just leave and pretend this is over!”
But we all knew. He wasn’t pretending.
It was over before it even started.
“You’re naïve. Can’t you see you’ve lost?” His tone was not one of superiority, but of pity.
My body tensed, then. My hands clenched. The woman next to me let out a soft shriek, and I started.
I had forgotten her hand was still in mine.
I moved to let go, but she pulled me closer. The three of us were crying now, as leaves fell in the cool autumn breeze.
“The only naïve one is you. “This time, her voice. Choked by emotion.
Again, I held my tongue. I held it as he walked away, the breeze blowing harder still.
I held it that evening, as she cried by the firelight.
I would hold it for years, the words I had wanted to say forever repeated, never spoken.
Please. Stay.
Hmm... well, if you truly want to post your stories, I strongly suggest small manageable chunks. Most ROW80 members only post small snippets (and usually in set groups for sharing snippets, such as the WIPpets and SnippetSundays). We post our progress twice a week for the Round of Words.
ReplyDeleteThe scene... lacking context or setting is intense, yet hard to connect to. You clearly see what is happening well, but you don't share enough of that "outer world" so the reader can connect to it.